100,000 Homes Campaign

I'm a girl of many words, so when assigned to reflect on my experience with the 100,000 Homes Campaign I struggled immensely with the 1,000 word limit. But in an effort to not spend my whole weekend writing about registry week, I am simply posting my reflection assignment here for you to read. Surely I have more to say, more feelings I'd love to express, and more questions I'd like to ask myself, but here you have it... what I have offered my classmates and Dr. Schlichtman about waking up at 3:00am, surveying homeless individuals, and finding out the results of this particular campaign.

9/22/10 – 7:15PM

I am tired.

No.

I am exhausted.

Totally and utterly exhausted.

I am detached.

I feel unaffected.

I cannot process.

Why?

“I think it just means you are tired Taylor.”

“Give it time. Let it sink in. Sleep. Then process.”

Yes.

That is what I will do.

Sleep.

Then think.

Process.

Sleep first.

9/19/10 – 10:30PM

Waking up at 3:00am is too much to ask of an already sleep deprived girl.

I’m nervous.

A little scared.

I’m excited.

I’m curious.

Always and forever curious.

Who will I meet?

Try not to cry Taylor.

No.

Don’t cry.

It’s not okay to cry.

Dress warm.

Be safe.

Don’t get too close.

Don’t get too attached.

Be brave.

Be strong.

JAMES!

God, let us find James.

Let me find James.

Let SOMEONE find James.

I woke up Monday ready to take on the morning, but I was scared and timid. Part of me didn’t want to find anyone on the streets, part of me wanted to find everyone. We walked along the water in Sea Port Village.

9/20/10 – 4:30AM

No one is here.

Why did we get assigned to a section where no one is?

Wait.

There!

Three people!

The first day was by far the hardest. I don’t know if it was because I only slept for 4 hours or if I hadn’t prepared myself for what I would face, but my eyes watered profusely all morning. I felt relieved to not have to survey the first 4 people we encountered. I wasn’t ready to hear their stories. I wasn’t ready to sit down with them at 4:30 in the morning and have my heart shattered. I wasn’t ready.

Why is this so difficult?

I’ve worked with homeless people before.

JAMES.

Reach out, Taylor

It’s okay.

You can do this.

I think Martha sensed my fear, my uncertainty, my uneasiness, and therefore encouraged me to sit down and survey Jay (the first person who agreed to take our survey).

9/20/10 – 5:30AM

Jay.

Not James.

22 not 79.

Wait?

My age!

No.

This isn’t fair!

I tried to keep my voice as kind as possible. I tried to remain professional, but I’m pretty sure I failed miserably. I allowed myself to be affected. I allowed myself to be broken by his story.

22.

Homeless for 3 years.

All he wants is food.

Love.

All I want to do is love him.

Does he know?

Does he know how much I care?

How much we care?

Jay is a face of homelessness I hadn’t seen before. He is merely a child, he is me. Yet less privileged, less loved, with less life chances. I find myself questioning why he is homeless and why I am not. We are the same. White. 22 year old. We live in Southern California. We have families that we grew up with, homes where we lived, high school educations. But while I have been studying Sociology at USD for the past three years he has been sleeping in parks, on street corners, under overpasses. While I have been working he has been begging. While I have had an abundance of food, he has had an extreme lack of it. We are the same. But we are completely different.

The last two days of the survey I found myself completely unaffected by the individuals I encountered. My heart wasn’t broken by their tragic stories. My eyes didn’t well with tears. I marched around downtown with a purpose. My purpose was to survey as many people as I could in the allotted 6 hours. My purpose was to gather their information in an effort to get them off the streets. My purpose was to do something - to make a difference.

9/22/10 – 5:15AM

Housing.

Survey everyone.

The one you miss could be the most vulnerable.

James.

Keep going.

Faster, Taylor.

Faster.

There are so many more people out there.

I can’t make sense of homelessness, and I don’t know that I ever will. The most I can do is keep an open mind. Keep stereotypes and negatives out of my thought processes. Love and fight for each individual equally, regardless of their situation or reason for being on the streets.

Who are we to judge? What gives us the right to deem someone lazy or deserving of the tragic life they live on the streets. Homeless individuals are as diverse as housed individuals. We are all unique in our stories. No two people I interviewed were similar. Everyone came from a different place, made different choices, has different life chances.

The number of spotted homeless individuals is infuriating. 1,040 people are sleeping outside in downtown San Diego. Yes, subtract 125 people from that number, but what about the remaining 915? The amount of work still to do is overwhelming, and quite frankly disheartening. Housing 125 people is a big step, but is nothing if considering the problem as a whole.

Homelessness isn’t going away, if anything, it is growing – spiraling out of control. Seeing first hand how large this population of homeless individuals is in a condensed area of 450 blocks makes it that much more real for me. Nearly 80% of the surveyed people reported being chronically homeless. How is that possible? We have to do something. I have to do something!

I think the brief-back session was the most telling for me. The images of the 125 individuals who will be housed in the near future renewed my sense of peace that was obliterated by this process. Three of the 22 people Group 21 interviewed appeared on the screen.

9/24/10 – 12:00PM

Jay.

Lupe.

I surveyed them!

I helped them!

Look!

JAMES?

No.

It’s not possible.

JAMES!

That’s James!

Last winter James was 79 years old, weighed no more than 80 pounds, and was suffering from a terrible cold. James appeared on the screen. Or who I believe to be James. I’m not ready to know if it really is him or not. But he is being housed along with 124 other deserving individuals and I, therefore, am eternally grateful for 100,000 Homes.

I am still processing what I saw, heard, and experienced on the streets this past week. And I can only imagine that I will be processing for a very long time. But I am thankful for such an experience. I am thankful I got to see different faces of homelessness and that I witnessed heartbreaking moments. I have a lot of work still to do, on my own and in the community. But this week left me with a new perspective and a new sense of what I need to do as a community member and as a child of God.

We are one body, one body in Christ. And we do not stand alone.