A Beautiful Wreck

You know the scenes in movies where the main character is standing still but the rest of the world is moving at an accelerated pace? Like seasons change, years pass, new generations are born all in a matter of seconds?

Well, welcome to my morning!

I was the only form of a constant this morning. I spent 4 1/2 hours sitting in the same chair, at the same table, drinking the same Pumpkin Spice Latte, eating the same yogurt, and reading the same study guide in an effort to pass my Classical (or is it Contemporary?) Sociological Theory midterm as the rest of the world sped on without me.

I'm pretty sure I watched the seasons change because when I walked outside there was lightening, thunder, and rain... Which in turn would mean that those 4 1/2 hours were actually much much longer... And by the time I got up to leave I didn't even recognize the Starbucks staff, so it's possible that their children were the ones who sent me off with warm wishes of a pleasant day...

Maybe not, but still...

Once the blur of bodies rapidly moving past my stoop seized, I stopped studying Mill, Weber, Marx, and who ever the hell else was on my midterm this morning and began reflecting on the last few days and decided that people would probably get a kick out of watching my life pan out.

I'm utterly and completely a mess.

Not only do I revert back into a 12 year old girl at the thought of my current crush, but I have this wonderful ability to inappropriately ask my professors to tell me their life stories along with this amazing tendency to reveal my juvenile thoughts to my superiors. I find myself in horrendously awkward situations as a result of my constant curiosity and devotion to knowledge. But hey, I wasn't born with a social sensor, and I'm finding that it makes my life more interesting than yours.

I run around in the rain like it's the first time I've ever seen drops of water fall from the sky, and I trip walking anywhere and everywhere. It appears that I have two working feet, but I'm convinced otherwise. I get really really excited for free frozen yogurt which results in spilling half of it down the front of my child's size sweatshirt but I continue on with my conversation because I really just don't care...

My heart skips a beat when I see the edge of a certain teachers mysterious tattoo, and I turn around every time he says something charming so I can say exactly that to Anjuli... charming! (Okay, so for you professors out there who have told me you read this, I apologize. That might have been too much.)

I wear high socks with running shorts when I'm having a bad day. This doesn't actually make me feel better... in fact, people usually comment on my attire asking if I have been or plan on going to the gym. My response is usually that I just didn't feel like showering that morning.

I randomly break-in (okay I still have a key) to the house I lived in this summer and sit at the kitchen table waiting for my old roommates to come home so I have someone to talk to, complain to, jump around in excitement with, and scream ROOOOMMMIIIEEEEEE to at the top of my lungs. Because I miss them, and that house, and our summer adventures.

My dining room table and I have a really great relationship. In fact he feels very loved this week because he is completely covered in objects as diverse as the thoughts in my head. I have mental break downs late at night with him. I sit here and cry and yell in a whisper about my hectic life but calm down as soon as I see a nice cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I'm addicted to coffee, if you didn't already know.

I wish someone would secretly video tape me for a week (not in a creepy way of course) because I'd love to see just how ridiculous my conversations with Kara are, how much I over think and freak out, and the extent of the awkward situations I find myself in. Maybe no one would be thoroughly entertained by watching my life pan out... well my mom definitely would, and maybe my Aunt Kelli too, but I'm finding myself to be fascinating lately (this could be because I really haven't slept all week, and I broke my beloved coffee pot, so I'm probably 87% delirious right now).

My life is a beautiful wreck. A roller coaster of emotions in their most excited state. A story unique to me. :)

Because I have a paper to start, write, re-write and turn in by 5pm tomorrow and because I'm really good at procrastinating, I'm once again blogging about something trivial at the most inopportune time. But I think Dr. Sprinkle from the counseling center would say this is a healthy stress reliever. So Dr. Perez, your paper on Anzaldua's Borderlands is going to have to wait til later, much later, as in after I go out for froyo and coffee and pretend I have a social life later.