I've attempted to blog 8 times in the past 5 days and came up with nothing. I've seemed to have lost my creative energy, but because I felt a weekly update was necessary this is what I've managed...
I'm jealous of the 60 or so students who are frantically packing their business casual clothes without any idea of why they have to bring them, who are reminding themselves over and over to keep an open mind because that is what they've been told to do, and who are battling a small amount of anxiety because they've been warned that this weekend will change their lives - or at least the rest of their time spent at USD. I'm jealous of these 60 students because these are the feelings I wish were running through my body right now instead of this bad energy I can't seem to shake.
I've had a perfectly pleasant week, perhaps even better than normal (I semi-crashed my dad's car and didn't get in trouble, got 105% on my Stats midterm, and finalized the plans for Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week!) but I'm bitter, and angry, and sad, and frustrated, and a multitude of other things I can't name. I wish I could turn my brain off for 30 minutes, take a break from thinking, and wondering, and talking myself in and out of feeling a particular way and just sit and listen to witnesses, hold the hand of my best friend, and stay up late at night sitting on bunk beds talking about the weekend we're experiencing.
I'd give almost anything for it to be the weekend of April 23rd today (like being yelled at by my dad for crashing his car instead of the understanding response I received).
I can't go back in time and re-experience the weekend of April 23rd, but I can drink wine and pray for everyone who decided to open their hearts to the experience of SEARCH XXVII. And I can reflect back on my experience, what made it so amazing, and how exactly it changed my life.
T.B.I.Y.T.C
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