Talking Boys with my Daddy.

I spent the latter part of the afternoon today with my father gawking at the unsightly residents of Pacific Beach. He snickered about everyone’s choice of inking unflattering tattoos in unfortunate places while I proceeded to name off every male I would classify as a douche bag.

My dad chuckled at my use of such a phrase… which was unusual, for had we not been sitting in public sipping diet cokes out of plastic 7/11 big gulps he would have scolded me for such class-less language.

“Taylor, who are you? Surely not the daughter I raised! Why do you talk like that?!”

Seeing how I avoided a stern lecture of appropriate language and etiquette I tested my luck and coughed up a few four letter words and then ventured as far as using ‘bone’ as a verb… and each occasion he simply put his head down, covered his brow with his left hand and hide the grin that spread across his face.

But back on track

… while I was proclaiming every boy a douche and denouncing the male species as a whole, he perked up and asked,

“Taylor, why don’t you date that nice looking young man who waited on us today?”

As if I had the pick of the litter and could date any boy I damn well pleased.

(I sincerely love my dad for this. Because he absolutely believes that anyone I am interested in would be crazy not to pursue me.)

I merely explained that I had already dated within the work community and look where that got me…

And that said waiter probably wasn’t interested, and although he is indeed quite attractive I’m not even sure that I am even interested in him. Among other things… he used to have a girlfriend, we work together, we are employed at the same location as my ex-boyfriend (can we even call him that?) Somewhere down my line of excuses my dad zoned out and then looked at me sternly and said,

“Taylor… what are the top 5 qualities you want in a boyfriend, fiancé, husband? I’m serious. I want you to think hard.”

I’m sure my face contorted into a thoughtful grimace as I looked over my right shoulder at the gentleman who was clearly eavesdropping, before I turned back, smiled, and listed off the following:

1. Compassion
2. Intelligence
3. Spontaneity
4. Conversational
5. Familial

Needless to say my dad was pleased with my response. We discussed in some length what each word entailed and how I imagined my future fella would follow through and meet my expectations.

Then he asked me more about said waiter. Silly daddy.

He bought me ice cream before we headed back to my house and said our goodbyes. He reassured me that I was exceptional. Not only am I intelligent and beautiful but I am kind and therefore I should never settle. I clung to him for dear life… because that is exactly the sort of positive reinforcement every 22-year-old girl needs to hear from time to time.

Before climbing back into his car he gave me another hug, patted me on the head and said,

“Maybe you should move back east. You’ll probably meet more attractive guys there than in this shit-hole."

God, I love my Dad. : )