God Loves You

God loves me. If you don't believe me ask the homeless man standing on the corner of Napa and Morena... he knows because he told me so.

"God loves you" repeated the homeless man over and over and over after I handed him a water bottle and a granola bar as I waited for the light to turn green on my way back to school from a long day studying for finals and starting a new job. The words rang in my ears as my heart skipped a beat "God loves you, God loves you, God loves you." Were these words really coming out of the mouth of a man covered in dirt with a small backpack and a sweatshirt full of holes? A man missing nearly half his teeth and with the blackest fingernails I had ever seen. A man who was just written a ticket by a heartless SDPD officer for jaywalking. A man whose life had been reduced to standing on a street corner with a cardboard sign that read "HELP. GOD BLESS."

This man held up the water bottle as if to get a better look at it and smiled. Smiled at a water bottle? A water bottle? Really? I was amazed and impulsively reached into the back seat of my car and grabbed another water bottle and handed it to him. He looked at me and again repeated "God loves you, God loves you, God loves you." Before the light turned green he told me he would keep the waters and granola bar in his backpack until later that night because it was going to be his dinner. My heart sank but I had nothing left to give him and then the light turned green I shot him a smile and said "have a great night" and he called after me with "GOD LOVES YOU!" as I sped away toward one of the most beautiful places I know. The University of San Diego. My home.

I have faith in humanity, actually an overwhelmingly strong faith in humanity. I truly believe that people are actually all good and shouldn't be feared, judged, mocked, or stripped of their human dignity because their life chances turned out to be less than adequate for this capitalistic world we are living in.

* How often have you avoided eye contact with the man on the corner holding a cardboard sign?

* Have you ever rolled up your window and locked your doors at the sight of a crippled woman walking toward you?

* Or perhaps you've crossed the street to avoid the teenager approaching you out of fear of being mugged?

I'll be the first to admit that I have, and on occasion still do, but in acting out of fear I reduce my chances of having experiences like the one above. I limit myself from the truth and beauty of humanity, the power of a short conversation with a stranger, the expression of immense gratitude for spare change or something to eat, and on occasion a reminder that God loves me.

As I arrived back at school, parked my car and went to eat in the cafeteria where I over-indulged on a hamburger, french fries, and a diet coke, I couldn't help but think of the injustice I witnessed over the last 30 minutes. What had been a pleasant and heartfelt exchange with a homeless man soon turned into intense feelings of anger. There is no reason, no excuse, and no justification for someone not having shelter, food, water, and safety. What is the reason behind this poor man standing on a street corner? To remind me that God loves me? The thought crossed my mind, for certainly I have lost sight of God, love, and happiness in the hectic week of paper writing, hours of studying, too much caffeine, and not enough sleep, but why does someone have to suffer so I can witness the truth of my existence - God's love?

How is it possible that a man with literally nothing remains faithful and isn't afraid to profess God's love while I, a person with a world of opportunities being handed to me on a silver platter am overcome with doubt?

I have trouble comprehending situations like these where I am reminded of God, but then forced to doubt His existence because of the very injustice that brought him to view. God loves me, but does he love the man standing on the corner of Napa and Morena? If He does love him, and loves him equally, then why are our realities inconceivably different? How is there such injustice when God's love is ever present? How?