We, as human beings, were created to be in relation with one another.
And regardless of the fact that I have been reminded of this over and over by the professors responsible for my over priced liberal arts education, my doubts have remained.
Many of us go through life staring at the ground, keeping our distance from strangers, and only associating with those in close relation to us. I say many of us because as often as I avoid others, others are avoiding me. I've taken a break once or twice from my sidewalk ogling and found nearly everyone I passed as intrigued by the tiny dots and cracks in the surface below their feet as I am. Therefore, I am not alone in my obsession with the ground, yet the University of San Diego's United Professors Gild (USDUPG) has it that we were created to be in relation with one another. Right.
Maybe it's because I'm terribly awkward, (okay, terribly awkward might be an understatement), or maybe it's that I get too caught up in my day dreams to bother with seemingly unimportant people, but for whatever reason, I'm not one to talk to others. I run from the guys who ask me to dance at bars, divert my gaze when I see someone coming towards me, and coop myself up inside my tiny beach house watching Weeds, reading, and blogging.
I'm a homebody. I always have been and am confident in saying that I always will be. I love my Taylor time. In fact, I need my Taylor time. More time than most people need. I certainly enjoy people - occasionally forcing myself outside of my comfort zone and mingling with new faces, having quality bonding time with the people I love, and sitting around doing nothing, or everything, with close friends, but for about every minute spent with someone, I need five minutes to myself.
My mother has reassured me that I will never meet anyone if I continue to live my life this way. And as fond as I am of my life, I am doomed. Unless of course I plan on marrying one of boys I've already met, closely associate with, and don't run from. Chances? Sadly... slim, but maybe I'll hold out hope so I don't have to change my life style and actually make eye contact, plant my feet firmly on the ground, and say hello to a complete stranger. Yikes. Someone come to my rescue. Any takers?!?
Anyways, this blog posting isn't going to be entirely about my less than hopeful quest for a soulmate outside of my current community...
I found my inspiration to blog about being in relation with others by three separate individuals in the same day. I think I'm a pretty happy person. I'm usually full of energy. I smile a lot. And I spin in circles with my arms spread wide and my head thrown back because its fun, really, really fun - plus it makes me a much more pleasant person. But, last Sunday these three encounters with total strangers made my day so much better and made me feel so much happier. Honestly. I sat in traffic completely content for three hours and only became frustrated twenty minutes from my destination because I had to pee so badly that I thought I was going to puke. Who has ever been that happy? Three hours. Bumper to bumper. Stick shift.
The first two comments happened within minutes of each other. I decided I needed caffeine, an excessive amount of caffeine, before embarking on my trip to Newport to surprise my mom for her birthday. So I pulled into the only spot left in the parking lot at the bottom of Linda Vista, and needless to say it was a tight fit. I had to carefully open my door, suck in my gut, and maneuver my ant like body out of my dreadful Mitsubishi. To my surprise I had an audience and upon slamming my car door shut an attractive 20 something year old guy said "NICE JOB!" I started laughing, awkwardly smoothed out my skirt and walked into Starbucks where my second humiliating yet surprisingly uplifting meeting took place. I ordered a $2.75 venti iced coffee with room and made my way to the... um... supply station? where I poured my beloved half and half into my caffeinated beverage of choice, when upon doing so an attractive 30 something year old man says "that's a lot of coffee for a Sunday afternoon." My response - "*awkward chuckle* I have a long drive." "Are you driving to San Francisco or something?!?" I should have responded with "EXACTLY! How'd you know?" to save myself from owning up to this stranger that no, in fact I am only driving to Newport but I have a terrible addiction problem and 20 ounces of coffee is by no means a lot for a Sunday afternoon thank you very much. Oh and by the way, I'm 21, not 17.
So why did these two statements make me glow for three hours in bumper to bumper traffic? Well, for starters, I was noticed. I love being noticed. Who doesn't? And secondly, I get a sick satisfaction out of aimlessly getting a response from people for doing something that seems completely normal to me but is entirely strange to another. I often tell people I don't know how to swim just to see what they say...
The third encounter came from a very attractive 4 year old boy on Balboa Island who ran out of his front door onto the patio with his shoes on his hands and shouted "HHHHIIIIIIIII!!!!" and proceeded to have a long conversation with my mom about what he was going have for dinner. He was my favorite, for multiple reasons. How cute are 4 year olds? And 4 year olds with shoes on their hands at that? 4 year olds also aren't intimidating and the cuteness factor doesn't have to be weighed. Plus, I look more like a grown up in the eyes of a 4 year old and less like a girl pushing 17.
All three of these boys/guys/men/males added a little something to my already wonderful day. They made it brighter, made me smile wider, and made me appreciate this "we were created to be in relation with others" business that I've learned so much about. People, yes, people, bring happiness to our lives. They also bring sadness, anger, and misery, but we are rational beings, we have the ability to reason, to think, to choose, to act. After Sunday I'm more of a believer in this theory or what-have-you; still skeptical, but slowly edging nearer to pit of belief-hood. If these three totally random and incredibly insignificant exchange of words brightened my day, I can only imagine what a conversation, or a compliment, or a question can do for me in the future. Like I said before, I'm not completely sold on this idea, and I'm certainly not ready to give up my cozy couch laying, frumpy haired, make-up-less, pajama-wearing evenings with myself to run off and say hello to strangers and make an ass out of myself, but I'm willing to take a break from my relationship with the ground and see what is standing in my five foot one and a half inch line of vision.
On an entirely different and completely unrelated note, my blogs always turn in a different direction than I originally intend.
And my dad referred to me as Robinhoodette on Sunday.
Bye!
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