I Need You To Know

I need you to know that I can't do this alone

And alone is how I'm doing it

I need you. I need your unconditional love

your constant support, your friendship

Please don't judge me

Because I really need you to accept me

Maybe I am making a terrible mistake

Setting myself up for tears, and hurt, and regret

But maybe, just maybe... I'm not

Maybe it will all be worth it in the end

But let's say you are right and my heart shatters

You pick up all the pieces and sew them back together

You hold my hand, dry my eyes, help me to heal

I will remember your kindness forever

And one day down the road, once I'm whole again

I bet I'll be able to tell you that it was worth it in the end.

It was worth it in the end.

It was worth it in the end.

I need you to know

that I understand you are in a difficult situation

Because all you know is what I tell you

The contradictions, the sadness, the confusion

But you don't see what I see

And feel what I feel, and know what I know

Because sometimes words can't explain these things

And when I try they come out messy and jumbled

But I need you to know

That he looks at me with a curious sadness in his eyes

And it feels so right to be wrapped up in his arms

I need you to know

That I get the butterflies every time he kisses me

And when I'm around him my heart beats so fast

that sometimes I can't even respond to his questions

I need you to know

That he has an honesty I've never known before

And he isn't afraid to tell me what he's thinking

I need you to know

That he stares at me because he thinks I'm beautiful

And I fight off the goosebumps when he holds my hand

I need you to know

That we have conversations that last for hours

About life, our passions, who we are, and who we want to be

I need you to know

That he challenges me in a way I've never been challenged before

And that these challenges come from the best of places

I need you to know

That he scares me, really scares me

But it's exciting, and new, and different

I need you to know

That I catch myself smiling when I think of him

and that I've never felt more brave in my life

I need you to know what I can't explain

I need you to see what I see

Because I need you to support me

to process with me, to listen to me

Because sometimes I think I'm crazy.

But there is something that keeps me coming back.

And until I know what that is, I need you by my side.

Love me for me. Because I can only be me.

This is what I choose. So choose it with me.

Any maybe, just maybe... it will be worth it in the end

It will be worth it in the end.